so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
