I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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