Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
