yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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