she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
