im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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