You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize