TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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