she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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