i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
