Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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