Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize