brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
