She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
