doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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