New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
