Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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