I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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