You're my little dorito
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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