Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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