Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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