I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize