Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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