Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
