Don't you send me to vm
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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