please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
