Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
