You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
