Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
