The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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