i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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