What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
