whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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