p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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