please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
