When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize