Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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