If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
