I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
