I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
