Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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