Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
