Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
