After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
