Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
