Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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