i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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