I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
