I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
