Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When did angry sex become our thing?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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