we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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