erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize