I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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