why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
