Can Purell be used as lube?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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