Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
