Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
