Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
